What takes you when become a single parent

By Thursday, March 16, 2017 , ,

Assalammualaikum w.b.t

Before I get to the right point, please don't misunderstand with the title.  It's just an emotional roller coaster happened early this morning. 

My second child told me that he doesn't want to go for swimming class this afternoon. The reason is, he feels afraid when he has to hold his breath under the water and he needs to push himself ( of course with the assistance of the coach ) until the side of swimming pool.

He started with stomach pain and after he finished his business, he just laid down on the couch. At that time, I realized that I have to get ready and brace myself with any drama(s) that will be happening soon!

The clock is ticking and I had to entertain my youngest son for his breakfast. Kakak is OK, she helped me a lot. Open the grill, and loaded all bags inside the car.

As I expected...

The drama begin.

He sits still and doesn't want to move. I talked nicely to him since I just bought a new pair of sports shoes yesterday. He said, he will take part in 20 meters running for his upcoming sportsday. 

Unfortunately, it doesn't work at all!

I hold his hand and ask him to put on his shoes. He still refused. Then, my two little sweet helpers come to help his brother. 

Still. No success.

I finally managed to force him to go inside the car. But can you imagine how I was feeling that time?

I hold my tears back.

He is running fast while crying out loud towards the car.

I feel so petrified. Imagined what happened if there's a car moving from behind. 😔😓😞

I tried my best to compose myself. I did istighfar instead of screaming or yelling.

Inside the car, while driving to their school my youngest 4++ years old son said this to his abang :

"Abang, abang janganlah takut...ALLAH kan MAHA BERKUASA, nanti dia tolak la kaki abang tuh...."

MasyaALLAH..

I feel soothed for a while. At least, I heard ALLAH's word come  from someone else at that time. 

He was naive and tried to apply what his teachers and I told him.  I added with Prophet Yunus A.S story. He makes a lot of du' as over and over again. Until ALLAH S.W.T listen to him.

When we arrived at his school. I know it's already late. I still give him a time . He put back his socks and shoes.His wipes his eyes and I kissed him as usual.

Adik wants to follow us, but I said 'NO'. Just stay inside the car. 

And guess what?

He started to cry.  I don't bother him. Too much pressure for me to carry on at one time.

I give Umair a wave and I think he still mad at me. He quickly climbs the stairs and left his shoes, not  in proper condition. It's Ok. I put it nicely on the stairs.

I drove back to send off my youngest son to kindergarten. And to my surprise,  I forgot his schoolbag. I went back home. I took his bag. I went inside the car and I started the engine. Before I press the gas pedal, I burst into tears.

I feel and think that I am not a good mother. I tried myself to control my emotion. Handling the kids without a husband around is not an easy task. 

Those who married and have a children, must understand what I am trying to tell you here. 

I pray may ALLAH S.W.T make ease our affairs.

Last but not least,

I finally received this from Swarovski. Waaahhh!!!! I am totally in cloud 9 and this is just arrived at the right time!

Alhamdulillah..at least, tade la nak monyok sepanjang masa.

Thank you ALLAH :)



 That's All and Thank you for reading!




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6 comments

  1. Since I am not married yet, it's not proper for me to comment on your life journey kak. The moment I read this story, I was feeling a bit "sebak" idk what kind of word is suitable to describe that. For me, It's a kind of a test or challenge for every mother in this world. Don't think too much kak, you're really a good mother. kids are just gonna be kids :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anak anak ni mmg kekadang cukup menduga kesabaran kitalah NF....tak kiralah kecik ke besar ke. Besar lain pulak peelnya.

    Sebagai ibu, rasanya perkara perkara yg meruntun jiwa mcm tu mmg perkara biasa. Apatah lagi kalau kita dah dekat nak period.

    Yelah kan....kalau single parent mesti lagi stress. Tak de tempat nak mengadu walaupun Allah itu sentiasa ada dekat dengan kita. Nama pun manusia, nak jugak belaiankan....

    Uh....bestnya dapat cincin....

    ReplyDelete
  3. aduhla.... terasa2 sedihnya terasa2 ternampak2 adegan tu dpn mata... dana ni nk uruskan sorang anak pun kadang hilang sbr mcmne lah kalau 3 org sekali gus ngn mcm2 perangai n keletah...

    tp hadiah cincin tuh... mmg blh bt sedih marah tu hilang trs kan

    ReplyDelete
  4. Cakap pasal cincin terus happy ending. Yeayy

    ReplyDelete
  5. Cakap pasal cincin terus happy ending. Yeayy

    ReplyDelete